Bad family life

Even though I love my family I am still having a bad family life because Mom is boring she never wants to do anything with us and she always gets mad at me even when I didn't do anything or it's not my fault, like earlier this summer I was babysitting my friend girls and Mom got mad at me because the girls put the leg rest up and because their parents were a little late and she wanted go to bad.  She also got mad at me because I gave them lollipops.  I thought that was so stupid to get mad over little things like those things they are just kids, kids usually make themselves at home and they don't ask either.  Wasn't my Mom ever a kid, sheesh, give kids a break.  I remember another time when Tonya's daughter Whitney was about 6 years old and we were babysitting them and Whitney was running around the table with her little sister Jessica and she accidentally broke a little cactus plant that was in the window seal and she got scared and hide we could find her we looked every where calling her name and when I found her she get in trouble from Mom, I felt so sorry for that poor little girl, Mom is not patient at all.  I tried to explain to Mom she hid because she was scared that you would get mad at her for breaking the plant, she said she didn't care about the plant she got mad because Whitney hid from her, but Whitney didn't know that Mom didn't care about the broken plant, she thought she was going to get in trouble for it so she hid and she got in trouble anyway for hiding, kids can't win, I know I never did.  I would be more understanding and say something comforting like Whitney honey, don't be scared it's okay I don't care about the plant, say something comforting to a child that is already scared, and don't get mad at her.  Why get mad all the time it just stresses you out.  It also stresses the people that you get mad at out too.

My Mom gets mad at me, my Dad gets mad at me and screams, and my sister Tami just likes to control me and tells me what I can have and what I can't have.  My Grandma likes to make me feel bad and guilty and my Aunt Sandi  like to lecture me.  Lets see, my Grandma told me before we left "I should spank you" just because I had a bad morning, and my favorite Aunt, Sandi said, "The next time you scratch your face I will jump on a plane and yell at you."   I thought oh great, that's why I scratched my face in the first place because Dad screamed at me and you are going to scream at me some more so I can get stressed out again.
And she lectured me about I have a nice mom and I should appreciate her and say thank you for what she does for me.  I just feel like no one understands me, no one ever took the time to understand me, I never said that my Mom wasn't nice, she is nice to me physically but she not nice to me emotionally and mentally

Mom is driving me crazy because even right now she made me upset, I just feel like giving up, no one appreciates me around here and I am not apart of Sister Michelson's family yet but I wish I was though!  Then I will have a happy life instead of a unhappy life!  

A New Friend and A New Dream

I have a new dream my dream is no longer to live in Utah in the basement but my new dream is to live with my new friend Rebecca, except I want her to live with us when Mom can't take care of us anymore.  She is nice and so much fun but most of all she likes me and accepts me for who I am and she is just like me and I love that in her!  She comes over to my house to visit me and to hangout with me, we have fun together, and she e-mails me.  She has 4 little girls that keep her busy but she still has time for me she makes me feel special.  I just want to be there for her and do anything that I can to help her out.  I met her at church and when she became Nursery Leader that's when she befriended me and we became friends, I love all of the love that she gives me in Nursery and I feel because she befriended me then she wanted to be a friend to me and be my friend.  I liked it one time she said to me "I have a feeling that you don't get very much love at your house."  She was right, I don't get very much love or attention at my house or even in my family. :(  So she tries to give me that love and attention in Nursery, and then things slowly began to happen, at the end of last September she began to e-mail me on her birthday because I tried to send her a birthday e-mail and last October when Dad give us those Christmas tickets to a Christmas play because there were only two tickets Mom wanted to give them away plus she really didn't want to go; I immediately thought of the Michelson's, let's give it to them for date night because I wanted Rebecca to be my friend and do things with me and not just every Sunday in the Nursery and I know to have a friend you must be a friend, so I gave her those tickets in November as a surprise. And I said I want to be your friend and she said, "I'm already your friend" then she told me "How about if I come to your house on Tuesday" I asked what time and she said after 1 so she came with her youngest daughter Eliza, and we had so much fun together, she is so much fun, I just love her!!  I am so very grateful that she came into my life! :-)  I am so thankful that we met, thanks to Heavenly father I have a really good friend; I really love her and her family so much!!  They have really been a blessing in my life!   Now I like to pretend that we are family, and I buy some things for them and I like to go over to their house and give it to them, that is if I can convince my Mom to drive me over there, for some reason I don't think that my Mom likes to go over there because she gives me a bad time every time.  Ever since I start praying and hoping and wishing and waiting for Rebecca to come into my life and to be a friend to me, finally my prayers were answered and our friendship has grown, I compare our friendship to a seed I planted the seed if it grows and blossoms and blooms them it was a good seed and our friendship grow but if the seed dies then our friendship wasn't mean to be, oh how I prayed, I prayed really hard for the seed to blossom and bloom and not die but there were times that I wondered if that seed was going to make it because it was dying and it was dying fast but with a little tender and care and love, faith and prayers my seed came back alive and it started to grow again and then we became friends again.  She comfort me she comforted me even when my Dad didn't think that I was worthy to be comforted, to him I am just a stupid girl and I am playing a victim because I want to be loved and cared for and I playing games, he makes me feel bad, he makes me feel that I am no good just because I am handicapped and just because I am handicapped I won't be anyone in life I'm no one special and I don't think like him, and now I think that everyone thinks that I am playing a game and I am playing the victim just because I want to be cared for, he has really missed up my mind over the years, even though I don't live with him he still says mean things towards me and he is self-centered too because Grandma's dog was hurt and I went to my Dad for help and then I noticed that he was bleeding so I tried to get his attention but when I finally did he screamed at me "What do you want me to do about it!!"  and when I told my friend about it she what a jerk and I agreed with her, 100%, he is a jerk especially after what he did to me one Tuesday night, he screamed at me for no reason, literally for not reason.   I was so stressed out that I scratched my face until it bled, and that surprised me that I would scratch my face so hard that bled, I thought I was just barely scratching my face, but what really surprised me I said that I was going to kill myself and he said GOOD!!  What a bully!  So after we got home he kicked me out of my own house so I ran away trying to go to my friend's house I know she would comfort me and she did after Mom had took me.  My Dad wasn't even sorry for what he did, he didn't even look for me, he didn't even care!  I wanted to go where I know the only person that cared about me would comfort me because according to my Dad I am not worthy to be comforted ether.  What is so shocking to me is how self centered my Dad can be, that my Dad can be so self-centered that he cares about no one except himself, he doesn't care about anyone feelings he doesn't even consider them.  No wonder I have self-esteem problems.  But my friend was so sweet to me she put me on her lap and comforted me while I cried, what a kind thing to do and when I told her that I told Dad I was going to kill myself a few seconds later she said softly that's not an option, I bet she was sad for me, aww, that's nice, after been treated like a nobody all my life then someone walks into my life that actually cares about me, I am just hoping and praying that she doesn't give up on me and leave my life like my other friends did.  My friend has a friend that I was hoping that she would want to be my friend too so I would have two friends that did things with me instead of just one but she e-mailed me and told me that she was too busy to be my friend, I was crushed, how rude she can be Rebecca's friend she isn't too busy to be her friend but she's too busy to be my friend though!   That hurts!!  Like my friend said that night why is everyone mean to you, you are so sweet.  I thought good question.

Sorry for the yellow, I copied and paste this.

Diabetes

My Mom is so afraid that I could have diabetes. So I looking online to see what the symptoms are and either I have not sympyoms right now, she is still scared. So I took this test online.

Things are basically the same aroung here

Not much has changed since last May, I am still dreaming of a new house basically because my Mom is driving me crazy! I still want a basement so I can go down there when my Mom drives me crazy and still live in the same house with her.

My Mom still works long hours and leaves me and my sister Becky home all day, and when she does come home she doesn't spend time with us, it's so frustrating!

Last September she sent me to Utah because I was a pain so she had decided to ask Dad to take me to Utah to get rid of me. I didn't know that she had sent me to Utah until after I got back and I was hurt to hear that she would do that to me!

Don't get me wrong I loved it in Utah and the best part was that my sister Becky want with me to be with me and support me. We had fun in Utah we enjoyed the cooler weather and Fall temperatures! We stayed 6 weeks and we would stayed longer but I wanted to get back and spend the holidays with my Mom.

When we was in Utah I kept asking Mom when I talked to her do you miss me,... do you miss me yet but she never seemed to miss me and on the night we came back she acted like we had been gone for a day so she really didn't miss us! I don't think it was very nice of her not to miss us because we are her kids and she should have missed us!

What drives me crazy is she will not spend time with us! Here is basically a normal day for her, she gets up between 4 and 5 O'clock in the morning she gets ready for school and then she goes in the kitchen and fix her herself breakfest and read and writes on her e-mail and then she brush her teeth and then leave for school and she's gone for 12 to 13 hours. Then she comes home and change her clothes and usually checks her e-mail again and read and writes on her e-mail and then call her mom then she either sits in her chair and fell to sleep or goes to bed. Where the time for us? Even on the weekend she doesn't really do things with us if she doesn't want too. She also loves to read and vist with her friend, I feel like she puts us last in this life and it shouldn't be thet way, families suppose to come first not last not even second.

The sad thing in this world is families usually come second or last in this world and work usually cames first in this crazy world, I want to tell peaple that isn't the way it should be you shouldn't put your families last you should put them frst, most people say they are too busy to spend time with their families, but why and what are they busy with? Work, friends, reading or watching TV? We need to start putting our families first because it's so important because don't we love our families and don't we owe them that much?! If we die tomorrow then wouldn't we wished we would have spent time with our family the ones that we love, the ones that really counts?

So STOP riding on your high horse and decide what really matter most in your life work and other things or your family! Stop putting your family on the sidelines and put them first like they should be! I hope that when you decide what's more important you will decide family.

"The most important work you will ever do is within the walls of your family." So please DON'T put your family off any longer because your might regrat it someday!

DON'T PUT OFF YOUR FAMILIES,THEY ARE IMPORTANT!!!!!!

Still dreaming

Doesn't this basement look so cool?! I also big, it has a den and a game room in it and of course you can see the family room. It's get so hot here and my Mom and me are not getting along because she won't spend any time with me or my sister she rather spend time with her friends then with us!! She won't even listen to me, I want to talk to my Mom and she ignores me so I been calling my Grandma (my Dad's Mom) for advise on how to handle a problem and what to do about it, and she just makes me feel better. To me my Mom is just not fair at times! Because she won't listen to me and when I try to tell her my feelings and how I feel, she ignores me. :( I really don't know what do do, I am so frustrated with her! My sister says that she feels the same way that I do but she won't say anything, I think that's sad. No one should get abuse like that, emotionally or verbally especially when I am trying to tell her how I feel!

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I need a friend like another dog, I wish mine didn't die because he was my friend and Mom won't get me another one, she won't even get me a fish! My Dad is trying to get me another dog but Mom just says, NO! One time my Grandma said, "what happen if there was a mother who cares more about her children feelings then her own feelings?" "Despite who much she doesn't like dogs she would say my children wants athoer dog and I will put my feelings aside and let them have another dog." That would be really nice!! I feel like if she doesn't get another dog now then we will never get one!

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I really wish someone could buy that house for me or at least help pay for it, it wold be a nice summer house, then I won't be so hot and my My can finally have a big kitchen with lots of cabinet space. See I love my Mom but I wish Mom just would realize that!

Spending time with each other is important (family)

I believe that spending time with your family is important, it's very important! I hate it when my Mom is too busy to spend time with my sister and me, it doesn't matter or even should matter how old we are, she should still spend time with us. I also believe if you don't have time or even find the time to spend time with your family then make the time because I believe there is nothing on this earth that is or even should be more important then our families!

My Dream House

I want a bigger house with more rooms for my sister and me, I want a den or office for me to do my scrapbooking in (even another bedroom would be nice. I also want a basement with a kitchen in it so it would be like my little apartment, so when my Mom and I have our little fights then I can go down to the basement and I won't have to go upstairs to eat because I would have a kitchen in the basement! And I also want to live somehere smaller and cooler in the summer!

In My Dream House I would like a big kitchen for my Mom with lots of cabinet space and this house in Cider City has a lot of cabinet space! Ü It also has a den and a office, family room and a game room in the basement. Ü It has 5 bedrooms I think that's includes a den and a office.

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Sometimes it's hard to wait for something that you really want! In our other houme we had a playroom, it was just a room made out of the garage, we called it the playroom because when Mom babysat the kids played in there and so did we. Anyway the man that biult it intend it to be a playroom. So after Mom stop babysitting, the playroom became my exra room so I could read, do my scrapbooking, and just be alone in there and I had all my things in there so my bedroom was nice. But now my room is messy because I don't have a playroom. We have a guest room ( that what my Mom likes to call it) and she lets me use it to do my scrapbooking in there but when someone cames to visit then I have to clean it up, so annoying!!